Honoring My Sister

My younger sister was killed in a car accident twenty-six years ago this week. Sometimes it feels surreal with my brain questioning if she ever really existed. And then at other times, it feels like it just happened, the wounds are fresh, and no time has passed at all.

I thank her for being one of my most important teachers. I wish I could tell her that I loved and appreciated her never-ending kindness and selflessness. She was brilliant, talented, beautiful, kind, and the most thoughtful person. She used to save her money and buy us gifts. She was truly an old soul in a child’s body. She had no enemies and was beloved. I wish I could ask her forgiveness that I was a better older sister, and let her know that her passing has awakened me to choosing every day to be a better version of myself. I wish I was more like her.

When we lose someone we love, it is never something we ever get over; Life just becomes a new normal. As I reflect on her life, and how her passing affected me personally, I want to share the many blessings that this experience gave me. If you have lost someone you love, my hope is you can see yourself in these blessings and that it helps you move through your grief:

  • Her passing at 16 taught me that we can make a great impact here--even in a short amount of time. It’s not the years, but what we do with them that matters.

  • Her passing re-awakened my intuitive abilities, and thrusted me into the work and person I am today. I thank her for showing me the way.

  • She taught me to not sweat the small stuff, to be kind always, to be a giver not a taker.

  • Humility

  • To forgive always

  • To think of others

  • Her life has taught me that you never know when it will be your last day, and to appreciate each day you’re alive

  • To tell those we love that we love them because we never know if it’s the last time we will see them

  • To make amends always--life is too short

  • That this life is an amazing one and to not take it for granted

  • Her passing has strengthened my belief that love is the most important thing

Thank you my beautiful sister. I hope you hear me talk to you every morning. I dream about the woman you would have become and the family you would have raised. You were always so good with children. I know you will continue to show me why I am still here and lead the way for me. Thank you for becoming my Guardian and Angel. We love and miss you everyday. xo

Randi Marks